I’m not laughing at you- I’m laughing with you.
You may think I’m crazy for thinking this, but sometimes I feel bad for celebrities. Oh sure, I envy them the whole making enough money to afford a personal trainer, multiple nannies, live in chef, and never having to scrub another toilet again part. But I would not trade them all of their dollars, trainers, nannies, and sous chefs for my anonymity.
Every time I am standing online at the supermarket and happen to notice a headline from one of those celebrity magazines all I can think is, boy am I glad I do not have paparazzi. That’s not to say that in this day and age I wouldn’t make the news if I locked myself in an airplane bathroom b/c I didn’t want to turn off my cell phone, but at least I can feel secure in knowing that if I run out for a cup of coffee in pajamas and bed head my picture will not show up on the cover of some tabloid magazine.
You can argue that by choosing a public career, you are susceptible to public scrutiny. But imagine what it would be like if someone was following you around with a camera capturing only your bad moments and printing them for the world to see. We would all look like self-involved people and terrible parents, with mood disorders, and no fashion sense. It’s bad enough that my children point out my short comings on a daily basis.
Mom, what’s that thing on your face?
Mom, how come your hair only looks pretty when you just get out of the shower?
Mom, how come your nostrils are shaped like potatoes?
Here are some reasons I am happy I don’t have paparazzi:
1- Gravity is not my friend. I have fallen off of walls, slipped on ice, and tripped over my shoe laces. I have slipped down a flight of stairs (twice) and have even fallen out of the shower (there’s not even a good story to go with that one). I declined the opportunity to be hoisted up in a chair during my Jewish wedding- I have learned to not tempt fate. There was a photographer at my wedding, after all.
2- Parenting is hard. The first time I cut my daughter’s finger nails, I accidently snipped off a small piece of skin from her pinky finger. I called the pediatrician. She laughed at me. Two hours later, my daughter’s finger was still bleeding. The pediatrician met us on a Sunday at the doctor’s office to stop the bleeding. She was no longer laughing.
3- I have locked myself out of my house. Twice. In one day. I have locked my keys in my car with the engine running. I have locked my car keys in my office while working late and had to call someone for a ride home. I have left my keys in the front door more times than I can count. I have accidentally taken both sets of keys with me leaving my husband stuck at home with no keys at all.
4- I lose things- besides keys. I have lost my wedding ring more than once. I have lost family heirlooms and the beautiful scarf my husband gave me one year as a gift. I have lost money, lost my patience, lost my temper, and lost my voice. I have been lucky to find them all again at some point (except the scarf- sorry honey).
5- I have unintentionally had my underwear showing. One year at our neighborhood picnic after spending three hours mingling with neighbors, my daughter told me I had a hole in the back of my jeans and she could see my pink underwear. (Note to self: wear denim colored underwear the next time I wear the jeans with the hole.)
I could keep going. But the point is that we all have flaws. We are quirky, klutzy, forgetful, underwear showing individuals. It is what makes us human. Sometimes, we have to forgive the things that make us human, and sometimes, we have to laugh at them. But just because we laugh, does not mean that we judge. Celebrities- in the highly unlikely event that you are reading this blog please know: Sometimes, the headlines on the tabloids make me chuckle because they are ridiculous. But I do not think any less of you because you forgot to buckle your child into their car seat (done it), lost twenty pounds and then gained it back (done it), or unknowingly flashed your underwear (though I do recommend wearing underwear when you know that photographers are likely to be following you). We have all had those moments- most of us just get to have them in private.
Here’s the other thing. If my neighbors saw my pink underwear that day at the picnic, they didn’t let on- and they still seem to like me. The people, who know us and like us, do so despite our flaws. Sometimes, when we show people our flaws, it even makes people feel better about their own imperfections. How many times have you seen somebody do something embarrassing and thought ‘I am so glad I am not the only person that has happened to.’ And for anyone out there who just read about some of my less honorable moments and choose to judge me based solely on that? Well, that’s your loss- I’ve got a lot of great attributes too.
The moral of the story- judge less, laugh more (that would be laughing with people, not at them). I am very lucky to have been raised by two very smart, (and very human individuals). They taught me not to judge a book by its cover, and not care too much what other people think. They also taught me that it is okay to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and that it’s healthy to laugh at ourselves.
So, I’m glad I don’t have paparazzi. But I’m okay with being human. It’s probably a good thing- I don’t know any other way to be.